«Я жалею, что давала детям эти советы»

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«Будь собой», «ты никому ничего не должен», «главное — найти призвание»… Блогер Тина Плантамура составила список ошибочных установок, которые передавала сыну из лучших побуждений.

«Я жалею, что давала детям эти советы»

Мой старший сын недавно окончил школу и вот-вот вступит во взрослую жизнь. Это событие заставило осознать, что я напрасно говорила ему многие вещи. Жаль, что нельзя повернуть время вспять и взять свои слова назад. Конечно, я говорила из лучших побуждений. Но теперь, надеюсь, он знает, что это не совсем правда.

1. Ты никому ничего не должен

Теперь я считаю иначе. Главная обязанность каждого — способствовать позитивным переменам в мире. Мы должны дать каждому человеку, включая самого себя, доброту, милосердие, терпение, уважение и сочувствие. Каждый из нас — воин на своем поле боя. В книге жизни каждого человека есть главы, которые он не стал бы читать вслух. Входя в чужую жизнь, мы можем оказаться в разгаре чьей-то ожесточенной битвы. И пока другой человек борется за то, чтобы собрать жизнь по частям, мы можем сделать только одно — быть к нему добрым. Это несложно.

2. Уважение не дается просто так, его нужно заслужить

Нужно ли ждать, пока кто-то завоюет наше уважение? Можно ли заслужить уважение, не проявляя его в ответ? Если мы относимся к кому-то уважительно, можно ли считать, что мы автоматически заслужили подобное отношение? А если кто-то относится к нам неуважительно, стоит ли отплатить тем же?

Это напоминает спор о яйце и курице, только более абсурдный. Мы отвечаем за свое поведение, не важно, уважительно ли ведут себя остальные.

3. Просто будь собой, и тебя оценят по достоинству

Сейчас я уверена, что только настойчивость и затраченные силы помогут преуспеть, и сказала бы сыну: выходи из зоны комфорта, заявляй о себе, не плыви по течению. Глупо надеяться получить все, что мы хотим, просто будучи собой.

4. Упорный труд приносит плоды

Так происходит не всегда. Временами самая тяжелая работа и неустанные усилия ни к чему не приводят. Жизнь бывает несправедлива, но все равно нужно трудиться не покладая рук, ведь если не работать, отсутствие результата гарантировано.

5. Нужно искать работу мечты, чтобы быть счастливым

Подойдите к 15 случайным людям и спросите, занимаются ли они делом мечты. Затем задайте вопрос, счастливы ли они. Не каждому нужна головокружительная карьера, чтобы быть счастливым.

Одни делают то, что всегда хотели, и при этом несчастны. У других вообще нет нормальной работы, но они довольны жизнью. Конечно, следовать за мечтой прекрасно, все же более важный приоритет — устойчивое развитие. Нужно уметь обеспечить себя, даже если найти работу мечты не удалось.

6. Ты особенный

Вместо этого я сказала бы: ты не лучше и не хуже других. Каждый твой знакомый в чем-то тебя превосходит. Кому-то с трудом дается то, что для тебя проще простого. Используй сильные стороны, чтобы сделать мир лучше. Если он будет лучше для других, станет лучше и для тебя. Проси о помощи и принимай ее, когда это необходимо. Не веди себя так, словно какие-то обстоятельства и задачи ниже твоего достоинства или, наоборот, выше тебя.

Источник: Ravishly.

Источник: psychologies.ru

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