Не ждите идеального мужчину

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Поэт Мариса Доннели объясняет, почему стоит прекратить поиски безупречного партнера, дать волю чувствам и разрешить себе ошибаться.

Не ждите идеального мужчину

Я устала от надуманных правил и стереотипов относительно поиска второй половины. «Не вступайте в отношения, пока не встретите мужчину, который…», «ищите отношения, которые будут…», «не соглашайтесь на меньшее, чем…», «оставайтесь свободной, пока не…».

Все это ерунда. Мы устанавливаем слишком много правил и границ. Говорим: нужно ждать и отказываться от всего, что не идеально. Нельзя соглашаться на приемлемые варианты. Мы должны продолжать поиски, пока не встретим подходящего человека. Мы почувствуем, что именно он — тот, которого мы так долго искали. Наконец-то все в жизни встанет на свои места.

В этих мыслях есть рациональное зерно, но порой мы воспринимаем их слишком буквально. Конечно, идея об ожидании окутана романтикой. Но такая позиция ограничивает наши реальные возможности. Невозможно понять, что такое правильные отношения, пока не переживете неправильные. Вам придется влюбляться в несовершенных людей и ошибаться. Чтобы узнать цену настоящей любви, придется ее потерять.

Вам придется встречаться с неподходящими, чтобы потом узнать «своего» человека, пройти с ним сквозь огонь и воду, научиться принимать его недостатки. Вы будете расти и развиваться рядом, даже если в итоге отношения закончатся. Любовь не развивается линейно. Не существует прямой дороги, которая приведет вас к абсолютному вечному счастью. На этом пути ждут набитые шишки и разбитые сердца, разорванные связи и моменты поражения. Вы будете влюбляться в неподходящих людей и причинять боль близким.

Не ждите идеального мужчину

Любовь не бывает идеальной, пришла пора перестать верить в сказки и отказаться от иллюзий. Разумеется, нужно искать подходящего человека, я не отрицаю этого. Если вы несчастны в отношениях, осознайте это и найдите выход. Нужно оберегать сердце, когда чувствуете себя разбитой, и не открывать его первому встречному. Знать, чего вы достойны, и не бояться отстаивать то, что для вас важно, все это верно.

Но также иногда нужно ошибаться. Порой нужно заводить отношения и встречаться с мужчинами, выбирая эмоциями, а не разумом. Иногда нужно открывать сердце тому, кто сожжет его, и верить в невозможную любовь. Перестаньте ограничивать себя надуманными правилами. Хватит обманывать себя, что однажды вы встретите идеального мужчину. Эти мечты греют душу, но имеют мало общего с реальностью. Идеального мужчины не существует.

Вы сами не идеальны, это к лучшему. Лучше ищите того, кто заставляет сердце биться сильнее. Ваш мужчина тот, кто готов расти и учиться вместе, бороться с вами и за вас. Не нужно искать идеального, главное — найти настоящие отношения.

Не надо сидеть в одиночестве и ждать принца. Нужно знакомиться с мужчинами, влюбляться, расти, меняться. И в итоге вы встретите правильного человека. Нужно делать ошибки. Не ограничивайте себя, не устанавливайте правила. Любите и доверяйте. Влюбляйтесь в людей, переживания, воспоминания и смех. Не теряйте время жизни на мечты о несбыточном.

Быть одной нормально, влюбляться в неподходящего мужчину тоже нормально. Нормально, если вы до сих пор не нашли «того самого» и совершаете ошибки. В любви не существует инструкций по применению. Однажды вы встретите неидеального мужчину, с которым суждено провести жизнь. А пока живите и ничего не бойтесь.

Не ждите идеального мужчину

Об авторе

Мариса Доннели – журналист, поэт, автор книги «Где-то на автостраде» (“Somewhere on a Highway”).

Источник: psychologies.ru

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