Муж ушел к женщине старше меня

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Тяжело быть брошенной, сознавая, что тебе предпочли другую женщину, особенно если она моложе и красивей. Но что, если соперница намного старше и уже утратила привлекательность? История от анонимного автора.

Муж ушел к женщине старше меня

Не знаю, что бы я чувствовала, если бы муж бросил меня ради привлекательной женщины лет на 10 моложе. Но в моем случае разлучницей оказалась дама под 60 с крашенными хной волосами. По возрасту она годится моей дочери в бабушки, а уж никак не в мачехи. Ну разве это не обидно? Не дико? Я моложе, я сохранила девичью стройность, я слежу за собой! По идее, это страшно унизительно.

Но, как ни удивительно, оказалось, что такой странный вариант принять легче. Ведь на самом деле мне не к чему особо ревновать. У меня нет этой стереотипной молодой соперницы с подтянутым, не испорченным родами телом и без намека на седину в роскошных волосах. Ничего подобного. У пассии моего мужа и фигура, и лицо очень выдают возраст. Когда наши друзья впервые засекли их вместе, то однозначно поверили моему мужу, уверявшему, что между ним и этой дамой ничего нет. Им казалось, что никаких романтический отношений тут быть не могло, поскольку она для него старовата.

Как же мы все ошибались! Он, впрочем, до сих пор отрицает, что изменял мне, несмотря на очевидные свидетельства обратного, и клянется, что роман у них начался только, когда мы с ним расстались.

У его возлюбленной дети давно выросли, уже не надо было отвечать за них или в чем-то себя ограничивать

Но как я теперь понимаю, признаки интрижки можно было бы заметить гораздо раньше, чем я действительно что-то заподозрила. Все проанализировав, я теперь могу точно сказать, когда это началось.

Когда-то я была для мужа всем — и вдруг все резко изменилось. Он стал холоден, отдалился. Якобы увлекся гольфом и под этим предлогом пропадал из дому на долгие часы. Не выпускал из рук телефон; в выходные периодически уединялся, чтобы сделать «звонок по работе». В нем больше не было ни теплоты, ни нежности, зато его вспыльчивость достигла критического размаха; кажется, его напрягала каждая минута, проведенная рядом со мной.

Я была попросту слепа, а ведь не надо было быть психологом, чтобы разобраться в происходящем. Муж чувствовал себя в семье будто в ловушке. У нас же было две дочки дошкольного возраста. Ему хотелось вновь вернуться к беспечной жизни. А у его возлюбленной дети давно выросли, уже не надо было отвечать за них или в чем-то себя ограничивать. Волшебное путешествие по Юго-Восточной Азии? Нет проблем. Музыкальный фестиваль в Нью-Орлеане? Бронируем!

Короче, у него был кризис середины жизни в чистом виде — он даже одеваться стал как 25 лет назад. Я ни секунды не обвиняю его пассию. Может быть, она думала, что ей придется стареть в одиночестве или в обществе партнера ее возраста, какого-нибудь домоседа в шлепанцах с болячками типа простатита. И вдруг привлекательный и более молодой мужчина проявил к ней интерес. Она должна была считать это огромной удачей! И потом, если бы ему не встретилась она, появилась бы какая-то другая.

Не думаю, что это история сумасшедшей любви, которой он не в силах был противиться. Он просто сбежал в эти отношения от обыденной и скучной семейной жизни. По крайней мере, скучной она ему казалась, пока он ее не потерял, пока фантазировал, что где-то вдалеке его ждет нечто совсем иное.

Я почувствовала вкус к другой жизни, такой, какой она должна быть, — радостной и свободной, не зависящей от чьих-то перепадов настроения

Понятно, что жизнь в семье с двумя маленькими детьми трудна, этот однообразный круговорот ежедневных дел выдержать непросто. Но с этим приходится мириться, зная, что на какой-то короткий отрезок времени тебе придется уйти на второй план. А он попросту бросил все и ушел к женщине, за которой, возможно, спустя какое-то время ему еще придется ухаживать.

Был момент, когда он спохватился: каялся, рыдал, просил разрешения вернуться, но я к тому времени уже почувствовала вкус к другой жизни, такой, какой она должна быть, — радостной и свободной, не зависящей от чьих-то перепадов настроения. Туча над нашим домом рассеялась, и я совсем не хотела, чтобы она вернулась.

Прошло несколько лет. Я рада, что рядом с ним женщина постарше. Моим дочкам она, похоже, нравится. Поскольку она сама мать, я ей доверяю и рада, что она может по-женски позаботиться о них, когда они навещают отца. Лучше пусть они гостят в ее прекрасном доме, чем в какой-нибудь унылой съемной квартире.

Конечно, жизнь сложилась не так, как я себе воображала. Это не тот счастливый мир, который мы видим в романтических фильмах: любящие друг друга мама и папа, окруженные детьми, в уютном гостеприимном доме… Мы с мужем тоже когда-то думали перебраться жить за город, но эти мечты рухнули, оставив в душе пустоту.

Мой брак был неудачным, но это не конец света. Как ни странно, я не жалею, что выбрала себе такого мужа

Впрочем, я теперь твердо знаю, что наши девочки были бы несчастны, если бы мы с их отцом по-прежнему жили под одной крышей. Да, мне бывает немного грустно на родительских собраниях, на школьных концертах или соревнованиях, куда я прихожу одна, а родители других детей — парами. А когда дочки смешат меня или проявляют остроумие, мне так не хватает рядом того, с кем можно разделить родительское умиление или гордость.

Но если бы мы с их отцом остались вместе, все было бы так же или даже хуже. На родительских собраниях он был бы неприветливым и раздраженным; во время соревнований молчал бы и избегал смотреть на меня. У нас все равно бы не было того контакта, который я наблюдаю у других пар. Хотя с годами я все больше понимаю, что за фасадом счастливого брака нередко скрываются драмы.

Мне категорически не подходит стереотипный образ страдающей матери-одиночки. Я бы описала себя как мать сорока с чем-то лет, жизнь которой наполнена радостью и которая — так уж случилось — растит детей одна.

Я не из тех женщин, кто на досуге любит сидеть, попивая шардоне, и ругать «ужасных» мужчин. Я хорошо отношусь к мужчинам: у меня три чудесных брата и много друзей-мужчин.

Мой брак был неудачным, но это не конец света. Как ни странно, я не жалею, что выбрала себе такого мужа. Мы были очень влюблены, и у нас были прекрасные времена. Мы дали жизнь двум замечательным детям.

Может быть, однажды я еще встречу новую любовь, но надеюсь, что это будет человек, уже переживший кризис среднего возраста.

Источник: psychologies.ru

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