Женщины чаще мужчин жалеют о случайном сексе

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Каждый о чем-то да жалеет, и секс не исключение. О чем жалеют женщины, когда дело касается случайных связей? И чем отличаются мужские переживания по тому же поводу?

Мужчина и женщина 
Секс 

18+
Женщины чаще мужчин жалеют о случайном сексе

Когда вы спрашиваете собеседника, о чем он больше всего в жизни жалеет, скорее всего, в ответ вы услышите рассказ о событиях, связанных с любовью, сексом и романтикой.

Представители обоих полов часто горюют об упущенных возможностях (например, об ушедших от нас партнерах), обмане и неверности, а также о том, каким был наш первый сексуальный опыт. И мужчины, и женщины много рассказывают о сожалениях, так или иначе касающихся секса. Но схожи ли у представителей обоих полов конкретные причины грустных «сексуальных» воспоминаний? Исследования показывают, что нет.

В рамках одного исследования студентам колледжа предложили прочесть два сценария. Первый описывал историю, герой которой занялся случайным сексом, а позже об этом пожалел. Во втором же сценарии герой отказался от аналогичной возможности и впоследствии сокрушался уже по этому поводу. Затем участников попросили оценить, насколько сильно они сами могли бы переживать в подобных ситуациях.

Оказалось, мужчины чаще жалеют о том, что могли упустить некую связанную с сексом возможность, а женщины — о том, что воспользовались ею! Другими словами, мужчины, как правило, сожалеют о том, чего у них не было, тогда как женщины больше переживают насчет того, что у них было.

В другом исследовании участникам выдали список с примерами сожалений, связанных с сексом. Опрашиваемых попросили отметить, с какими из этих ситуаций они сами сталкивались. И опять же женщины чаще говорили о тех случаях, в которых они выбрали «действовать», а мужчины отметили больше вариантов, описывающих «бездействие».

Из 39 пунктов, которые описывали сожаления из-за случившегося секса, ни один не был более популярен среди мужчин, чем среди женщин. Из 30 примеров, связанных с сожалениями о «сексуальном бездействии», только один был более распространен среди женщин, чем среди мужчин.

У затрат на «репродуктивный успех», связанных с сексуальными действиями или бездействием, разная цена для мужчин и женщин

Женщины чаще всего жалеют о том, что:

  • выбрали для первого сексуального опыта «неправильного» человека,
  • изменили партнеру,
  • слишком быстро перешли от романтики к интимным отношениям.

Для мужчин самые грустные воспоминания — о том, что они:

  • не сказали партнерше о ее привлекательности,
  • не использовали все возможности заняться сексом в молодом возрасте,
  • не были более сексуально активными до того, как женились.

Результаты говорят о том, что сексуальные сожаления — обычное явление для мужчин и женщин, но природа этих сожалений различается в зависимости от пола. Как объяснить эту гендерную разницу?

Мы не можем сказать наверняка. Но проводившие исследование ученые считают, что полученные результаты напрямую относятся к теории эволюции. Основная идея в том, что у затрат на «репродуктивный успех», связанных с сексуальными действиями или бездействием, разная цена для мужчин и женщин.

Общественное мнение все еще диктует нам, что женщины не должны вступать в случайные связи и получать удовольствие

Женщины с большей вероятностью могут сожалеть о случайном сексе, который не привел к отношениям, в том числе и потому, что в случае рождения ребенка их родительские затраты на потомство будут гораздо выше. Беременность и роды сказываются на здоровье. Инвестиций в виде времени и денег, необходимых для жизни с ребенком, от женщины требуется больше, особенно если ей придется растить его без отца.

В то же время мужчины с большей вероятностью будут сожалеть о том, что потратили время на отношения, которые не привели к сексу или где его было недостаточно (потому что так снижается вероятность завести детей).

В обоих этих сценариях присутствуют гипотетические репродуктивные издержки. Например, риск забеременеть от человека, который не останется с тобой и ребенком, для женщин. А для мужчин это риск упустить возможность передать свои гены.

Конечно, рассмотреть итоги исследования можно и с других точек зрения. Например, общественное мнение все еще диктует нам, что женщины не должны вступать в случайные связи и вообще получать от интима удовольствие. И эти настроения заставляют дам больше жалеть о том, что они позволили себе не обремененный отношениями секс.

Судя по всему, женщины в целом гораздо чаще задумываются о социальных последствиях своего сексуального поведения, чем мужчины. Эта идея подтверждается и другими исследованиями, которые показали, что женщины чаще мужчин беспокоятся о последствиях случайного секса для своей репутации.

Стоит также отметить, что женщины чаще, чем мужчины, сообщают о «менее чем удовлетворительных» ощущениях от случайного секса. А значит, разница в уровне удовольствия также может играть свою роль в этой истории.

Автор — Джастин Лемиллер, доктор социальной психологии, сотрудник института имени Кинси по изучению секса, гендера и репродукции.

Источник: psychologies.ru

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