Почему мы оправдываемся в ответ на комплименты?

0 / 5 (0 голосов)

«Как ты прекрасно выглядишь!» — «Да просто голову вчера помыл»…
Мы смущаемся, иронизируем или виновато пожимаем плечами в ответ на похвалу в собственный адрес: мол, и сам не пойму, как это меня угораздило… Отчего же мы стремимся обесценить чужое мнение, как если бы боялись принять его всерьез?

Познать себя 

Почему мы оправдываемся в ответ на комплименты?


Почему мы оправдываемся в ответ на комплименты?
Маргарита Жамкочьян, психотерапевт

«Комплименты настораживают: многие, заведомо считая их лицемерием, подозревают собеседника в намерении польстить или уязвить их. И реже всего комплимент воспринимается как желание сказать нам что-то приятное.

Парадоксально, но иногда агрессивные выпады нам перенести легче.

Причин тому несколько: это и скрытая агрессия, уровень которой очень высок в нашей стране, и острый дефицит позитивного внимания друг к другу, который заложен глубоко в культуре и идет от недостатка внимания к ребенку в семье.

Тот факт, что мы не можем принять комплимент, практически всегда означает, что мы и не способны его произнести. А ведь на самом деле это совсем не сложно — принять комплимент и его вернуть».


Почему мы оправдываемся в ответ на комплименты?
Александр Архангельский, публицист, телеведущий

«Главной причиной такого поведения я бы назвал особенность российской культуры, пережившей в ХХ веке утрату многовековых ритуалов поведения в обществе.

Приветствия, комплименты, ухаживания за женщиной и ее ответные реакции — все это в зависимости от сословия было предельно четко регламентировано.

Тогда каждому было понятно, какой комплимент означает заигрывание, а какой — ритуальную форму приветствия. И вместо смущения приятные слова вызывали веселую игровую реакцию.

Сейчас, когда ритуалы разрушены, мы не знаем, что имеет в виду собеседник на самом деле, делая комплимент. Поэтому на всякий случай мы от него отказываемся, чтобы защитить себя, если вдруг это игра не по правилам».

Источник: psychologies.ru

106 комментариев

  1. Lorena Ответить

    Hello there! This article could not be written any better!

    Looking at this article reminds me of my previous roommate!

    He continually kept preaching about this. I will send this information to
    him. Pretty sure he will have a great read. I appreciate
    you for sharing!

  2. Annette Ответить

    I must thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this site.
    I really hope to check out the same high-grade blog posts from you in the
    future as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has motivated me
    to get my own, personal site now 😉

  3. Mauricio Ответить

    Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to help
    with SEO? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted
    keywords but I’m not seeing very good gains. If you know of
    any please share. Many thanks!

  4. Marie Ответить

    i need some ideas for a blog. i currently do poems and surveys on it but i wan na talk about something.

  5. Lottie Ответить

    Yesterday, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a twenty
    five foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views.
    I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  6. Hayley Ответить

    I’m really enjoying the design and layout
    of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much
    more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme?
    Exceptional work!

  7. Valentin Ответить

    Thank you for sharing your info. I truly appreciate your efforts and I will
    be waiting for your next post thank you once again.

  8. Ernesto Ответить

    Heya i am for the primary time here. I found this board and
    I in finding It truly helpful & it helped me out a lot.
    I hope to present one thing again and help others such as
    you aided me.

  9. Catheryn Ответить

    What is the most effective application for publishing blog sites or short articles to my internet site?

  10. Jim Athy Ответить

    How Instagram Influencers cheat they followers, what they do to have popular account and why there is so many stars nowadays. Our blog post is an answer for all that questions. Many unknown thehniques how do they get followers on Instagram and even verification badge. Promote your account in same way to get verified account fast. http://bit.ly/2K1LUwd

  11. Meme Ответить

    39348 901858Flexibility indicates your space ought to get incremented with the improve in number of weblog users. 732180

  12. click for info Ответить

    970173 63700Ive exactly the same difficulty sometimes, but I normally just force myself via it and revise later. Very good luck! 416827

  13. Eartha Ответить

    What sites and also blog sites do the browsing area communicate most on?

  14. Violette Ответить

    Greetings! I know this is kinda off topic however , I’d figured
    I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring
    a blog post or vice-versa? My blog goes over a lot
    of the same subjects as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from
    each other. If you might be interested feel free to send me an email.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Superb blog by the way!

  15. Horace Ответить

    I was suggested this website by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post
    is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my
    difficulty. You’re incredible! Thanks!

  16. Kristi Ответить

    My spouse and I stumbled over here from a different website and
    thought I might check things out. I like what I see so i am just following you.

    Look forward to finding out about your web page yet again.

  17. 카지노게임사이트 Ответить

    143692 438306Exceptional post however , I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this subject? Id be very thankful should you could elaborate just a little bit more. Thanks! 881069

  18. past life quizzes Ответить

    Do you in reincarnated souls? Would you like to explore who you were in other lives? Past lives regression is a reliable discipline to learn about your lost past lives memories.

  19. Nora Ответить

    I’m not sure why but this site is loading extremely slow
    for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is
    it a issue on my end? I’ll check back later
    and see if the problem still exists.

  20. Shantay Ответить

    What organizing websites will allow my blog site to earn money off includes being placed on my blog?

  21. Amelia Ответить

    I have 3 blogs on tumblr under the exact same e-mail address. Just how do I erase among those blog sites without erasing the various other two?. Preferably, I ‘d such as somebody to address whom has actually experienced this issue before and fixed it without removing their other blog sites. Many thanks!.

  22. Barrett Ответить

    Currently I am truly unsure! Assumed, exactly how perform you receive a springtime mattress in a carton, spun no much less?

  23. Yevette Aronoff Ответить

    An impressive share, I merely given this onto a colleague who has been performing a little analysis about this. And he in truth bought me breakfast simply because I stumbled upon it for him.. smile. So permit me to reword that: Thnx with the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending some time to go over this, I find myself strongly about this and really like reading more on this topic. If it is possible, as you become expertise, could you mind updating your blog site with an increase of details? It is extremely useful for me. Massive thumb up due to this article!

  24. Adena Patrin Ответить

    My favorite town out of all I’ve been to, has to be Zurich Switzerland. Switzerland is one of the best skiing areas. Something I absolutely love, it is peacefull and comforting.

  25. newspaper template free printable Ответить

    My brother recommended I might like this website.

    He was entirely right. This post truly made my day. You cann’t imagine just how
    much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!

  26. additional reading Ответить

    I simply want to mention I’m newbie to blogging and site-building and really liked this page. Likely I’m going to bookmark your blog . You certainly have superb posts. Bless you for revealing your website page.

  27. TOEFL VS IELTS Ответить

    Great ¡V I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs as well as related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, website theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Nice task..

  28. peliculas online Ответить

    Of course, what a fantastic website and illuminating posts, I surely will bookmark your website.All the Best!

  29. best screenwriting websites online Ответить

    you are really a good webmaster. The web site loading speed is amazing. It seems that you are doing any unique trick. Also, The contents are masterwork. you’ve done a magnificent job on this topic!

  30. BUY CBD Ответить

    I got what you mean , thankyou for posting .Woh I am pleased to find this website through google. «Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.» by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

  31. satta king online result Ответить

    Magnificent website. Lots of helpful information here. I’m sending it to a few friends ans additionally sharing in delicious. And of course, thanks for your effort!

  32. 먹튀검증 사이트 Ответить

    It’s actually a nice and helpful piece of info. I am glad that you shared this useful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

  33. 먹튀폴리스 Ответить

    I simply couldn’t leave your web site prior to suggesting that I really enjoyed the usual information a person supply for your guests? Is gonna be back incessantly in order to investigate cross-check new posts

  34. Height adjustable office desks Ответить

    A powerful share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing just a little analysis on this. And he in truth bought me breakfast as a result of I discovered it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I really feel strongly about it and love reading extra on this topic. If doable, as you change into experience, would you thoughts updating your blog with extra details? It’s highly useful for me. Big thumb up for this weblog put up!

  35. National Finals Rodeo news updates Ответить

    I have been surfing on-line more than 3 hours as of late, but I by no means discovered any fascinating article like yours. It is lovely worth sufficient for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made excellent content as you did, the internet will be much more helpful than ever before.

  36. เป่ายิ้งฉุบแก้ผ้า apk Ответить

    We absolutely love your blog and find nearly all of your post’s to be what precisely I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write content for yourself? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write with regards to here. Again, awesome site!

  37. Deanne Schnobrich Ответить

    When I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a remark is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any manner you possibly can take away me from that service? Thanks!

  38. Sook Stroffolino Ответить

    After study several of the blogs on your internet site now, and that i truly such as your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site list and are checking back soon. Pls have a look at my internet site as well and told me what you consider.

  39. Fitness trackers Ответить

    whoah this weblog is fantastic i love reading your articles. Keep up the good work! You realize, many individuals are hunting round for this info, you could help them greatly.

  40. goal Ответить

    I like this post, enjoyed this one appreciate it for posting .

  41. craft die cuts Ответить

    752398 697001Normally I try and get my mix of Vitamin E from pills. Although Id genuinely like to through a wonderful meal plan it can be rather hard to at times. 5000

  42. انمي اون لاين Ответить

    Hey there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my twitter group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Many thanks

  43. ไฮโล w88 Ответить

    Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossips and net and this is actually irritating. A good site with interesting content, this is what I need. Thank you for keeping this site, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Cant find it.

  44. jumper rentals san diego Ответить

    Hey there! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest writing a blog article or vice-versa? My site discusses a lot of the same topics as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you happen to be interested feel free to shoot me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Awesome blog by the way!

  45. sbobet asian Ответить

    Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  46. เช่าเต๊นท์ Ответить

    One thing I’d really like to reply to is that weight loss program fast can be carried out by the correct diet and exercise. Your size not simply affects the look, but also the actual quality of life. Self-esteem, depression, health risks, as well as physical ability are damaged in weight gain. It is possible to do everything right whilst still having a gain. In such a circumstance, a medical problem may be the root cause. While an excessive amount food instead of enough exercise are usually to blame, common medical conditions and popular prescriptions may greatly increase size. Thx for your post in this article.

  47. งานแต่งงาน Ответить

    You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!

  48. บาคาร่าs01 Ответить

    It¡¦s actually a great and helpful piece of info. I¡¦m happy that you just shared this useful info with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

  49. Maude Deprez Ответить

    Have you ever considered creating an e-book or guest authoring on other sites? I have a blog based on the same theme if you’re interested.

  50. aluminum french doors Ответить

    You can certainly see your skills in the paintings you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. All the time go after your heart. «If the grass is greener in the other fellow’s yard — let him worry about cutting it.» by Fred Allen.

  51. nuhairink.com Ответить

    I’ve been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.

  52. Burton Slevin Ответить

    it is always easy to find good ski resorts online, but most of them are expensive but they are great anyway”

  53. YouVive Ответить

    I like it when people get together and share thoughts. Great site, stick with it!

  54. YouVive Ответить

    I like it whenever people get together and share views. Great site, continue the good work.

  55. forex trading software Ответить

    We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your web site offered us with valuable info to work on. You’ve done a formidable job and our entire community will be grateful to you.

  56. boardgames Ответить

    One other issue is that if you are in a circumstances where you do not have a cosigner then you may genuinely wish to try to wear out all of your federal funding options. You could find many awards and other free college funding that will offer you funding that can help with education expenses. Thanks alot : ) for the post.

  57. Lesbian erotica Ответить

    Valuable information. Lucky me I found your site by accident, and I’m shocked why this accident did not happened earlier! I bookmarked it.

  58. canli bahis Ответить

    Hello.This article was extremely fascinating, especially since I was browsing for thoughts on this issue last couple of days.

  59. agen dominoqq Ответить

    Magnificent website. A lot of helpful information here. I am sending it to several friends ans also sharing in delicious. And obviously, thanks to your sweat!

  60. office interior design Ответить

    Hi, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, great blog!

  61. silk flowers Ответить

    Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read anything like this before. So good to seek out any person with some authentic thoughts on this subject. realy thanks for starting this up. this web site is something that is needed on the web, somebody with just a little originality. useful job for bringing one thing new to the internet!

  62. tr.behappyfamily.com Ответить

    I have not checked in here for a while because I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are good quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  63. Aktualne Kupony Ответить

    Hey very nice blog!! Man .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your website and take the feeds also…I am happy to find a lot of useful information here in the post, we need develop more techniques in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .

  64. bandar bola Ответить

    I will immediately seize your rss feed as I can not in finding your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please let me know in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  65. W88 โกง Ответить

    Great write-up, I¡¦m regular visitor of one¡¦s site, maintain up the excellent operate, and It’s going to be a regular visitor for a lengthy time.

  66. Horizontal openning style door Ответить

    Hey, you used to write great, but the last several posts have been kinda boring… I miss your super writings. Past few posts are just a little out of track! come on!

  67. life and business coach Ответить

    you’re truly a good webmaster. The web site loading velocity is incredible. It seems that you’re doing any distinctive trick. In addition, The contents are masterpiece. you’ve done a excellent task in this topic!

  68. Organicana Ответить

    I was recommended this website by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are incredible! Thanks!

  69. jumper rentals san diego Ответить

    Howdy very cool website!! Guy .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your website and take the feeds additionally¡KI’m happy to seek out numerous useful information here within the publish, we’d like develop more techniques in this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

  70. Judi Online Indonesia Ответить

    I was just seeking this info for some time. After 6 hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your website. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this kind of informative websites in top of the list. Normally the top sites are full of garbage.

  71. NBA Stream Ответить

    As I site possessor I believe the content matter here is rattling fantastic , appreciate it for your efforts. You should keep it up forever! Good Luck.

  72. Furniture assembly handyman Ответить

    Hi my family member! I wish to say that this post is amazing, great written and include approximately all vital infos. I would like to peer extra posts like this .

  73. Kream Team Ответить

    I would like to thnkx for the efforts you have put in writing this site. I am hoping the same high-grade web site post from you in the upcoming also. Actually your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own blog now. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings quickly. Your write up is a good example of it.

  74. key to success at work Ответить

    Thanks for helping me to acquire new strategies about desktops. I also have belief that certain of the best ways to help keep your notebook in best condition has been a hard plastic material case, or shell, that matches over the top of one’s computer. A lot of these protective gear are generally model specific since they are made to fit perfectly above the natural outer shell. You can buy them directly from the owner, or via third party sources if they are for your notebook computer, however its not all laptop will have a covering on the market. Just as before, thanks for your ideas.

  75. web agency Ответить

    I do agree with all of the concepts you have offered on your post. They’re really convincing and can definitely work. Still, the posts are very brief for newbies. Could you please prolong them a little from next time? Thank you for the post.

  76. office furniture assembly Ответить

    Thanks for sharing excellent informations. Your web site is very cool. I am impressed by the details that you have on this blog. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for more articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the information I already searched all over the place and simply couldn’t come across. What a great site.

  77. Knedler Ответить

    Very fantastic information can be found on weblog . «Time discovers truth.» by Lucius Annaeus Seneca.

  78. Furniture Outlet Ответить

    Incredible! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It’s on a totally different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Wonderful choice of colors!

  79. Furniture Assembly service Ответить

    I absolutely love your blog and find almost all of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write content for you? I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write related to here. Again, awesome blog!

  80. 릴게임 Ответить

    I feel that is among the so much significant information for me. And i am glad reading your article. However should statement on some basic things, The website style is ideal, the articles is truly great : D. Excellent process, cheers

  81. 메이저사이트 추천 Ответить

    The next time I learn a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I know it was my option to read, however I really thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you might fix in the event you werent too busy searching for attention.

  82. @newbeginnings410 Ответить

    I wish to point out my respect for your kindness for those who need help on this particular idea. Your personal dedication to getting the solution all over turned out to be quite advantageous and has usually permitted most people much like me to get to their endeavors. Your personal invaluable report denotes a great deal a person like me and substantially more to my colleagues. Thanks a ton; from all of us.

  83. จัดงานแต่งงาน Ответить

    I’m really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a great blog like this one these days..

  84. doorwin windows Ответить

    One thing I’d really like to touch upon is that weightloss program fast may be possible by the right diet and exercise. People’s size not just affects the look, but also the general quality of life. Self-esteem, depressive disorders, health risks, in addition to physical skills are impacted in weight gain. It is possible to just make everything right but still gain. If this happens, a medical problem may be the root cause. While a lot of food instead of enough workout are usually to blame, common health conditions and traditionally used prescriptions might greatly increase size. I am grateful for your post here.

  85. cannabidiol capsules near me Ответить

    Excellent post. I used to be checking continuously this weblog and I am inspired! Extremely helpful information particularly the remaining phase 🙂 I care for such information a lot. I used to be looking for this certain info for a very lengthy time. Thank you and best of luck.

  86. cannabidiol near me Ответить

    Excellent blog here! Also your web site loads up very fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

Добавить комментарий

Ваш e-mail не будет опубликован. Обязательные поля помечены *

двенадцать + 6 =

четыре × 3 =