Почему мы не решаемся тратить деньги (и время) на себя лично?

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Курс массажа, покупка дорогой желанной книги, выходной в спа-центре, вечер с друзьями детства — нередко мы откладываем эти дела, значимые лично для нас, на потом (когда-нибудь, не сейчас), оставляя деньги (время) на детей и родных, на домашние или деловые нужды. Что нам мешает на деле заботиться о себе? Комментируют эксперты.

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Почему мы не решаемся тратить деньги (и время) на себя лично?

Почему мы не решаемся тратить деньги (и время) на себя лично?
Мария Фаликман, когнитивный психолог

«Мы привыкли заботиться об общем деле» 

Одна из возможных причин — в иерархии ценностей, сформированной в советскую эпоху. Тогда культивировалась «самоотверженность» — отказ от себя ради общего дела: а как иначе можно было добиться высочайших результатов труда, мотивировать людей проводить на работе день и ночь в ущерб личной жизни, здоровью?

Иерархия ценностей меняется очень медленно: сегодня «общим делом» становятся, к примеру, корпоративные интересы, а отказ от себя — остается. Кроме того, у наших сограждан деньги появились не так давно, мы еще не научились расходовать их на себя».

Почему мы не решаемся тратить деньги (и время) на себя лично?
Виталий Зимин, психоаналитик

«Мы забываем о своем внутреннем ребенке» 

Неспособность тратить деньги на себя — это поверхностное проявление более глубоких проблем. Зададим вопрос иначе: почему мы недостаточно заботимся о себе? Это может быть связано с нарушением материнской заботы в первые месяцы жизни ребенка: уставшая мать не реагировала на крик младенца, не всегда поддерживала его эмоционально, и ребенок не чувствовал себя в безопасности.

Став взрослыми, в какой-то трудный момент мы тоже можем забросить своего внутреннего ребенка: «забудем» сходить к врачу, заедим проблему вредной пищей, закурим…»

Почему мы не решаемся тратить деньги (и время) на себя лично?
Екатерина Дайчик, нарративный психолог

«Нам легче жить, помогая другим» 

Такое мировосприятие свойственно сообществам, переживающим трудные времена. Когда материальных ресурсов мало, а выживание требует много сил и времени, поддержание коллективного существования важнее, чем индивидуального: «Если выживут все вокруг, то и я выживу».

До сих пор бедные семьи и страны живут более общинно, чем процветающие. Неосознанное ощущение того, что «мне нужно меньше, чем другим», передается из поколения в поколение, становясь частью мироустройства. А снижение этой тенденции говорит о росте благополучия в обществе».

Источник: psychologies.ru

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