5 способов перестать откладывать жизнь

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Купить сервиз, но не пользоваться им, дожидаясь визита английской королевы, — мы привыкли ждать лучших времен. Но, откладывая жизнь на потом, теряем самое дорогое, что у нас есть, — время. Все себе запрещая, что мы сможем вспомнить через пару лет, кроме суеты и болезней? Психолог Татьяна Цветкова объясняет, как научиться жить здесь и сейчас.

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5 способов перестать откладывать жизнь

Приведу пример. Дочь обратилась ко мне:

«Мама, хочу на день рождения надеть красное платье для бальных танцев».

«Нет», — тут же ответила я.

«Почему?» — спросила дочь.

«Оно для танцев».

«Так и когда его носить? Раз в год, что ли?» — в негодовании бросил ребенок.

Я задумалась: в чем проблема? Наденет и будет счастлива. Испачкает, можно постирать. Сработал автоматизм: отложить для выхода на соревнования, другими словами, до лучших времен! И если эти времена по каким-то причинам не наступят, платье останется висеть мертвым грузом в шкафу.

Мы знаем, что в круговороте мыслей, ожиданий, проекций откладываем свою жизнь на потом. Можно привести другие примеры:

  • Куплю квартиру/дачу, тогда заживу счастливо.
  • Заработаю много денег — буду уважаемым человеком.
  • Закончу вуз, сделаю карьеру и только тогда смогу завести детей.
  • Сделаю себе красивые зубы и смогу вести вебинары.
  • Скину 20 килограммов, тогда налажу личную жизнь.
  • Дети вырастут — смогу посветить время любимому хобби.
  • Выйду на пенсию — отдохну.
  • Накоплю на машину, тогда смогу уволиться.

Каждый раз мечты разбиваются об иллюзии ожиданий. Решение есть, но для этого нужно поработать над привычками и автоматическими реакциями. Психика так устроена, что все проще начинать с понедельника. Почему? Мы так ее приучили сами и нас так приучили. В психологии есть понятие «синдром отложенной жизни».

5 способов перестать откладывать жизнь

5 способов начать жить здесь и сейчас 

1. Задавайте себе вопросы

  • Что вижу в данный момент?
  • Что чувствую сейчас?
  • Что или кто меня окружает?
  • Как планирую решить что-то сейчас?
  • Что могу еще сделать для …?

Остановите себя и спросите: «Что сейчас происходит?» Фокус внимания направлен на настоящее, а где внимание, там и энергия.

2. Объявите ситуацию позитивной для себя

Каждую ситуацию, которая кажется негативной, объявляйте позитивной. Вы буквально шокируете мозг этим заявлением. Как срыв запланированного отпуска может быть позитивен? Он начинает искать объяснение и подтверждение. Сразу усиливайте эффект, применяя совет из пункт 3.

3. Найдите пользу в любой ситуации

Продолжаем пример с отпуском. Не полетели отдыхать из-за болезни ребенка. Представьте, c какими сложностями вы бы столкнулись, если бы ребенок заболел на месте. А так вам вернули часть суммы или перенесли вылет на другие удобные даты.

4. Не говорите сразу «нет»

Делайте паузу между «стимул — реакция». Не отвергайте сразу, как в примере с платьем. Научитесь говорить «да».

5. Поддерживайте осознанно новые автоматизмы

  • Когда чувствуете, что загоняете себя, жизнь потеряла краски, угас интерес, вы превратились в робота — остановитесь. Задайте себе вопрос: «Что-то происходит сейчас? Что именно?» И возвращайтесь к пункту 1.
  • Когда чувствуете импульс (идея + желание): пришла мысль в голову или вам предложили что-то, что вы давно хотели, но не позволяли себе — делайте сразу. Не откладывайте. Взращивайте ваш импульс.

Если не будете взращивать импульс, холить и лелеять его, то через какое-то время он перестанет появляться. Вам придется потрудиться и вылезти из мягкого уютного болота, то есть преодолеть иллюзию безопасности.

Когда внедрите в жизнь новый навык жить здесь и сейчас, ее качество изменится в лучшую сторону.

  • Вы перестанете платить самой дорогой валютой — временем, ждать и догонять.
  • Начнете дышать полной грудью и наслаждаться каждым моментом.

5 способов перестать откладывать жизнь

Об авторе

Цветкова Татьяна — психолог, резонансный психотерапевт, мастер-коуч.

Источник: psychologies.ru

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