28 вопросов, которые сближают с людьми

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Вы думаете, что хорошо знаете партнера? Вы определенно на одной волне с лучшей подругой? Никто не понимает вашего ребенка лучше, чем вы? Психотерапевт Рейчел Финци считает, что мы часто путаем поверхностные знания о человеке с истинной близостью. Она объясняет, как создать условия, чтобы любимый человек открылся вам.

28 вопросов, которые сближают с людьми

Даже если вы часто и тесно общаетесь с близкими, это еще не значит, что вам понятны их истинные мотивы и желания. Возможно, вы знаете, где мужу нравится отдыхать, какую группу обожает подруга и какой игрой увлекается сын. Но вы можете не подозревать, что делает близкого счастливым, пугает, злит или мотивирует. Но вы наверняка хотите знать ответы на эти вопросы, ведь так?

Как правило, один собеседник говорит о себе больше, чем второй. Если будете по очереди задавать друг другу приведенные ниже вопросы, это поможет сбалансировать отношения и укрепить близость. Кроме того, так вы покажете близкому, что действительно хотите знать о нем больше.

Начните с простых и безопасных вопросов:

  • Что ты делаешь, чтобы восстановиться, когда ни на что нет сил?
  • Что было самым ярким в сегодняшнем дне?
  • Как тебе кажется, на какого персонажа ты похож?
  • Если бы у тебя было три свободных дня и сколько угодно денег, чем бы ты занялся?
  • Кто был твоим любимым учителем в школе и почему?
  • В каком самом необычном месте ты был?
  • Чему тебя научила работа?
  • Какое хобби ты бы выбрал, если бы не был ограничен во времени и в деньгах?
  • Что тебе нравится больше: планировать или импровизировать?
  • О чем бы ты хотел узнать больше?
  • Кто помог тебе стать тем, кто ты сейчас, кто больше всех повлиял?
  • С чего тебе нравится начинать день?
  • Если бы на всех работах был одинаковый график и зарплата, чем бы ты занимался?
  • Чего ты с нетерпением ждешь в ближайшем будущем?
  • 28 вопросов, которые сближают с людьми

    С близкими можно поднять вопросы:

  • Что из того, что случилось сегодня, мотивирует тебя двигаться вперед?
  • Какие события сделали тебя сильнее?
  • О чем ты чаще всего думаешь?
  • Как ты оцениваешь людей?
  • Что для тебя важнее всего в человеке, а что неприемлемо?
  • В чем тебе чаще всего нужна помощь?
  • Какую проблему ты сейчас пытаешься решить?
  • От какой вредной привычки тебе тяжелее всего избавиться?
  • Как думаешь, что помогло бы тебе от нее отказаться?
  • Какую полезную привычку тебе стоило бы завести раньше?
  • Что побудило тебя ее наконец завести?
  • Было ли с тобой такое: что-то началось из рук вон плохо, а закончилось хорошо?
  • Если бы тебе осталось жить один день, что бы ты сделал в первую очередь?
  • Что еще ты хотел бы рассказать о себе?
  • Следите за вербальной и невербальной реакцией собеседника. Если он медлит с ответом, не давите на него. Вы можете поделиться своими ответами на некоторые вопросы, но не перетягивайте беседу на себя. Говорите по очереди, не перебивая друг друга. Технику используют в семейной психотерапии, когда одному или обоим партнерам кажется, что другой их не слышит.

    Главное — дать близкому почувствовать, что его замечают и принимают, что его не отвергнут и не начнут с ним спорить. Показать искреннюю заинтересованность в другом, безусловно его принимать — один из самых ценных подарков, который можно сделать. Попробуйте.

    28 вопросов, которые сближают с людьми

    Об авторе

    Рейчел Финци (Rachel Fintzy) — психотерапевт, работает в Калифорнийском университете в Лос-Анджелесе. Подробнее на ее сайте.

    Источник: psychologies.ru

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