11 самых важных фраз для ваших отношений (повторяйте их почаще!)

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Не стоит недооценивать силу этих слов: они помогут пройти сквозь все трудности долгой совместной жизни. Простое, казалось бы, будничное «тебе помочь?» или «ладно, забудем», — каждая из этих фраз на самом деле значит лишь одно: «Я люблю тебя».

Мужчина и женщина 

11 самых важных фраз для ваших отношений (повторяйте их почаще!)

1. «Я так рад, что женился на тебе!»

Всем нужно слышать, что мы любимы, снова и снова. Ведь решение быть вместе мы принимаем на всю жизнь — а в этой жизни случаются большие перемены. «Когда же мы слышим от партнера слова, что он счастлив быть с нами, это как подтверждение его клятвы еще раз. Для нас это свидетельство того, что нас любят даже сильнее, чем в начале пути», — говорит Пеппер Шварц, профессор социологии и сексолог.

2. «Тебе помочь?»

Какие нужные слова! Повторяйте их почаще.

Здесь один нюанс. Те, кто прожили вместе больше 50 лет, говорят, что нужно избегать соблазна (от большой любви) решать все проблемы партнера за него. Это не вызывает благодарности. Иногда партнеру нужно, чтобы его просто выслушали и проявили внимание.

«Я здесь, чтобы тебя поддержать» звучит гораздо лучше, чем «вот что тебе нужно сделать», — говорит Карл Пиллемер, автор книги «30 уроков любви».

3. «Я хочу тебя»

Что может лучше поддержать огонь между вами, чем такие волнующие слова — из того времени, когда все только начиналось? Даже спустя многие годы вы для него желанны. Оставаться сексуально привлекательной для своего партнера, несмотря на изменения во внешности, для женщины едва ли не самое важное. «Это заставляет чувствовать себя живой», — говорит Селеста Хиршман, секс-терапевт и семейный коуч.

4. «Как ты думаешь?»

У этой простой фразы большая сила. Особенно тогда, когда вы обсуждаете какие-то важные или больные темы. Вспоминайте о ней почаще. Это как приглашение к спокойному диалогу.

«Сказать так — значит иметь в виду буквально следующее: «Мне интересно твое мнение, и мне интересна ты. Твоя точка зрения важна так же, как моя», — говорит семейный терапевт Уинфред Рейли.

5. «Что бы я без тебя делал(а)?»

Когда вам становится грустно или вы размышляете о не самых приятных событиях, услышать такие слова для партнера — это один из самых ценных подарков, которые может преподнести совместная жизнь. «Это значит, что он для вас — та сила, которая помогает оставаться в жизни счастливой, оставаться собой», — говорит Айрис Краснов, автор бестселлера «Секретная жизнь жен».

6. «Прости меня, пожалуйста»

Когда вы в последний раз слышали от него такие слова? А сами давно их говорили?

«Прости» стало очень редким словом: в наши дни люди заботятся о том, чтобы реализовать себя и получить от жизни все. К тому же в стремлении к совершенству перфекционисты очень болезненно воспринимают саму мысль о том, что они могут ошибиться.

«Счастливый союз — это союз двух несовершенных людей, которые знают, что они несовершенны, и признают право каждого на ошибку. Мы все ошибаемся», — говорит Курт Смит, психотерапевт, работающий с мужчинами.

11 самых важных фраз для ваших отношений (повторяйте их почаще!)

7. «Расскажи мне все поподробнее…»

«Если партнер только что вернулся с важного для него мероприятия или из поездки, не перебивайте его, дайте ему рассказать все в подробностях. Не нагружайте его сразу же текущими проблемами. Покажите свой искренний интерес к тому, о чем он собирается рассказать: к теме конференции и докладчикам, к рыбалке и ночевке в палатках. Дайте ему рассказать историю целиком — мы все любим, когда нас внимательно слушают!» — говорит Карл Пиллемер.

8. «Ты такая красивая!»

Слышать эти слова никогда не надоест. Даже если они звучат более скромно — например: «Я люблю, когда ты надеваешь это платье» или «Тебе так идет этот цвет».

«За годы жизни вдвоем вы узнали друг о друге практически все — и о том, что вам идет, в том числе. Но путь эта фраза будет каждый раз маленьким открытием», — говорит Пеппер Шварц.

9. «Я был неправ. Ты права»

Это одна из лучших фраз, которая может прозвучать из уст мужчины, возвышенная и благородная. Она способна разрешить практически любой конфликт. Однако услышать ее от женщины не менее прекрасно. «Я говорю эти слова очень часто — даже тогда, когда знаю, что мой муж был неправ, а я права!» — рассказывает Айрис Краснов.

10. «Ты мне нравишься такой»

Так часто мы встречаем людей, которые хотят что-то «улучшить» в том, что и так хорошо. Сделать вас тем человеком, которым им хочется вас видеть. Но самые прочные отношения построены на принятии.

«Только когда вы принимаете того, кто с вами рядом, он чувствует свободу и буквально расцветает», — говорит секс-терапевт Дэниэл Харел.

11. «Ладно, забудем. Я давно тебя простил»

«Ко мне приходят на терапию пары, которые помнят каждое слово друг друга, все то, что каждый из них когда-то сделал не так. Когда вы цитируете этот лист прегрешений, это значит — прощения не случилось», — говорит Курт Смит.

Простить не значит ничего не помнить. Это значит, у вас нет нужды вспоминать об этом снова и снова. Ответьте себе на вопрос — зачем?

Источник: psychologies.ru

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