10 ошибок, которых не совершают сильные люди

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Уверенность, независимость, внутренняя устойчивость, самоуважение, список достоинств, которыми обладают сильные психологически люди, можно продолжать долго. Может быть, самое ценное — внутренняя гармония? Психотерапевт Эми Морин уверена, что мы способны стать сильнее, если будем избегать некоторых ошибок.

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10 ошибок, которых не совершают сильные люди

Сила духа и внутренняя гармония идут рука об руку. Такие люди уверены, что сумеют справиться со всеми испытаниями. Это не значит, что они не испытывают душевную боль, не переживают и не грустят, но они не тратят времени впустую, сетуя на неудачи или пытаясь перевоспитать других людей. Они управляют тем, чем могут управлять: своими мыслями, чувствами и поведением. Первостепенное внимание уделяют работе над собой, зная, что нет предела совершенству. Каких ошибок они не допускают?

1. Не общаются с токсичными людьми. Люди, которыми вы себя окружаете, оказывают влияние на мысли, чувства и поведение. Поддерживать отношения с теми, кто лжет, злословит, обижает, подводит, — себе дороже. Это негативно отразится на душевном благополучии. Сильные люди не тратят энергию на попытки изменить токсичных людей. Они устанавливают здоровые физические и эмоциональные границы.

2. Не занимаются чрезмерной самокритикой. Думать, что все неудачи в жизни на 100 процентов ваша вина, будь то отношения, кража или инцидент в метро, значит обречь себя на бесконечные самообвинения. Вы не в состоянии предотвратить все неприятности. Духовно сильные люди берут на себя ответственность за свою жизнь и жизнь близких, но в разумных пределах. Они отвечают за свои выборы, но также признают, что есть факторы вне их контроля — экономическая ситуация, погода, выборы других людей и другое.

3. Не гонятся за счастьем. Полагать, что нужно стремиться быть счастливым каждый миг своей жизни, опасная иллюзия. Сиюминутное удовольствие и стабильная удовлетворенность жизнью — разные вещи. Сильные духом люди готовы упорно трудиться ради своего блага. Они не потакают тем своим слабостям, которые идут во вред их долгосрочным целям.

4. Не боятся дискомфорта. Многим кажется, что секрет хорошего психологического самочувствия в том, чтобы всегда находиться в зоне комфорта. Но избегание дискомфорта может обернуться против вас. Сильные духом люди решаются смотреть в лицо своим страхам, исследуют новые сферы, проверяют пределы своих возможностей. Они осознанно выходят из зоны комфорта, зная, что только так можно сделать свою жизнь лучше.

5. Не чувствуют себя жертвой. Если вы вините во всех проблемах внешние обстоятельства, вы никогда не сможете взять на себя ответственность за свою жизнь. Сильные духом люди отвечают за свои выборы, даже в трагических обстоятельствах. Они концентрируются на тех вещах, которые могут контролировать, и не жалуются на людей и обстоятельства.

10 ошибок, которых не совершают сильные люди

6. Не озабочены тем, какое впечатление производят. Вы можете тратить массу времени и сил, стараясь понравиться другим людям. Зависимость от чужих оценок сыграет против вас. Сильным духом людям комфортно быть такими, какие они есть. Они не беспокоятся, одобрят их или нет. Для них намного важнее жить в соответствии с собственными ценностями.

7. Не страдают перфекционизмом. Стремление к высоким достижениям — здоровое качество, но требовать от себя совершенства — значит вести неравный бой. Вы никогда не почувствуете себя на высоте, если ставите слишком высокую планку. Эти люди принимают свои неудачи и ошибки и признают свои недостатки и слабости.

8. Не копят обиды. Возможно, вы считаете, что затаить в себе обиду — это некий способ наказать виновника. Но на самом деле гнев и ненависть только сужают поле вашей жизни. Сильные духом люди не цепляются за свои обиды, предпочитая направлять энергию в конструктивное русло. Это не значит, что они позволяют оскорблять или унижать себя, они не допускают, чтобы скрытое недовольство или раздражение управляло их жизнью.

9. Не зациклены на материальных ценностях. Сколько бы вы ни зарабатывали, но желание иметь дом еще больше, машину еще круче, одежду еще шикарней лишает покоя. Если вы считаете, что приобретение вещей удовлетворит все ваши потребности, вас ждет серьезное разочарование. Сильные духом люди не аскеты и вполне могут получать удовольствие от хороших вещей. Но они не считают, что обладание материальными ценностями обеспечивает радость и удовлетворенность жизнью.

10. Не считают себя абсолютно самодостаточными. Если вы всегда и во всем полагаетесь только на себя, то, возможно, кажетесь себе крутым, но это не значит, что вы сильны. Рано или поздно возникнет ситуация, когда вам придется попросить о помощи. Сильные духом люди не боятся признать, что им может быть нужна помощь. Полагаются ли они на высшие силы, на помощь коллег-профессионалов или на друзей, в любом случае, повышают свою эффективность. Понимание, что они не могут и не должны иметь ответов на все вопросы, только укрепляет их душевный покой.

Источник: psychologytoday.com

10 ошибок, которых не совершают сильные люди

Об авторе

Эми Морин — психотерапевт, клинический социальный работник, автор бестселлера «13 вещей, которые делают люди, сильные духом» («13 Things Mentally Strong People Do», Harper Collins, 2015).

Источник: psychologies.ru

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